Relearn: Self Improvement

What is a self improvement? Why we should need it? How can we grow? I hope that this blog post can help anyone trying to start growing themselves.

All will be started in one small step, being aware of yourself. Self awareness is important, how can you grow if you cannot even know what happened around you or what revolves around you?

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.

Nathaniel Branden

Aware of self, will lead us in knowing our self on how our body, mind, feeling, and soul works. Knowing those four dimensions of yourself could help you a lot. You could know your weakness and strength, you could know your field of vision, you could tell what you could do to grow. You could ask for people to correct you, to see your weakness and all. Meditation could also help you to gain self knowledge.

Knowing yourself and be aware of yourself will lead you to know that you have potential. Some people call it as talent. Your potential is exists within you, you can only make it grow or just conceal it from anything and let it wither. Awareness of our own potential must be trailed by awareness that everyone’s potential is different. The difference was caused by individual traits, values, and types of psychology.

  1. Introvert or extrovert
  2. Thinking or feeling
  3. Sensing or intuiting
  4. Judging or perceiving

Values and types of psychology was taught by our own family, relatives, and friends. How you have been treated by your parent – full discipline, pampering, as partner, or not even care at all. Friendship can also affect the values that you have in your daily life. You can either stay as what your parents told you to be or change for good or bad because of the stress that happened to you while you are interacting with the community.

Stress could be happened to everyone and you must choose on how to deal with it for it can shape you. Everyone can deal with their stress, either it was physical stress, psychological, or social. The way people deal with it is different – some drown in their own mind and be sick, some identify and mitigate it from afar, some do not even care about their problems at all! There are many different ways to cope with the stress, all you have to do is to be yourself and be creative to handle the stress.

Being creative can help you in order to improve yourself. Being creative means you have creative mind when you are faced with a problem. Not only provided by mind alone, you had to be motivated, in a state of relax, have identified the possible risks and opportunities, and dare to try and take the risk. Being creative also will not be achieved in an instant, but need a process. One need to prepare them self with the information of the problem and all related to it. Then those information will be incubated as various ideas is accepted in mind. Those ideas, either from own or other’s experience, will certainly help to solve the problem. Then the verification and execution is needed in order to think and act creatively. Being creative in solving problems and coping with stress will certainly help us in reaching our goal.

Goal can also shape yourself through your values and actions. Having a goal is great. You can go to one place, reach it and be satisfied when reaching it. Goal can make yourself motivated and help you when facing problems as you will stay motivated. But the process in reaching that goal can surely affect you and your personality. When setting your goal, you have to be specific, know that your goal can be measured in later time, understand that your goal is attainable and realistic, also set a time to validate your own goal. Also, remember that if you fail to reach that goal, be optimistic! The fault is in the way you work it, not in you. Review your way and change the methods that made you fail.

To be optimistic, you need perseverance and  resilience. Things cannot be reached in only one or two steps. You have to keep setting new goals (read the second s-curve). You have to keep growing (Toyota Way). You can accept it and move on, but keep doing it and you will be blind of your own potentials. Keep holding on your own purpose and understanding of life. Master your own environment by gathering information, identifying risks and opportunities, and process it all to help you. Be autonomous so that you can stand when others have given up. And remember to keep good relationship with others, for you and your environment need each other.

Good relation with others will require your empathy towards others. How can you reach your friends if you do not even understand them? How can you understand them if you never listen to them? How can you understand them if you never watch their gesture? How can you get to know your surrounding if you cant even understand others around you? That effect is quite big. Having empathy and understand others will help you so much and you will like it, too! You have to be able to understand what other may feel like. You have to be able to observe others. You have to be able to be an active listener to others by asking, giving conclusions, and help them to find the way to solve their own problem.

Assertive communication is needed when you want to grow in a community. You cannot always influence others and make them follow your footsteps. You also cannot make others to keep on relying to you. The best way is to be assertive and make a common ground and goal with others. It will not always a win-win solution, but you can always learn a thing or two and grow yourself from it.

In being assertive, you need to have a trust. Trust is build from scratch, you know a person, you are willing to do things with him. The results may be correct, then be consistent on it. If it was wrong, be open and dare to admit and take responsibility, identify the cause and improve the method. Trust may be improved or reduced. It is all up to you!

What is a self improvement?
Effort to identify our weakness and overcome it.

Why we should need it?
Because as we grow, improvement is needed so that we can be better and reach our goal.

How can we grow?
Have self awareness, understand your potential, traits and values, cope and learn with stress, being creative, set a SMART goal, be resilient, have empathy, be assertive, and be trustworthy in our own community.

All might be just a theory right now, but know that once you start the first step, everything can be continued easily.

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